October 18, 2005
Back to School (a.k.a. work)
As of yesterday, (10/17/05), I am back teaching 4th graders. It does feel a little strange, but not for the reasons most people think.
“I miss my baby,” “I’m going to miss one of his firsts”–Nope those aren’t me.
I do miss the little bean, but when I am at school, I am a teacher, and I am sooo busy, I don’t even seem to have a moment to think, and this week is especially like that because I have yard duty durring recess–basically no stopping once I get to school, so no free moments to think too much about Charles. Besides, I am working for only half the day, so by the time I really miss him, it’s time to go home. Nice!
Finally, today, on Tuesday, I have a bit of a break. Charlie is asleep (lightly–he wakes up and looks around and then oozes back into sleep). I’ve eaten lunch, and I have a moment to recount my horrible first day, and now today, the better Tuesday.
Yesterday sucked big apples. It was a horrible first day. I didn’t know what I was getting into or what I was doing, it was all a little on the crazy side. I was cranky–from getting up so early, and then being almost late because I had to feed Charles right before I left (the second feed), and having no prep time. Then to top things off,(stupid me for trying to get something done other than planning and prep for school) I called personnel to explani a problem with my pay check and probably ticked the gal off. I was a little more than irritated to start the day.
Sidenote– Charlie is now awake, feed and changed; this update of course is taking me much longer than anticipated because of the usual interuptions (Charlie!).
Back at yesterday. It was a bomb. The lessons dragged. The day rolled by in a jumbled fog.
The students sat glaze- eyed at their desks contimplating when the afternoon teacher would arrive– I kept wondering when the afternoon teacher would arrive. We all were in a Monday Malaise– like all my big words? But seriously, leaving the classroom Monday, I was so discouraged. I didn’t feel organized-both mentally and in preparations, and I was ready to just quit. But then there was today.
After talking to my mom on the phone last night, I was able to verbalize my frustrations and set a path. And today was much better. I got up earlier, and Charlie ate twice, but earlier this time. I didn’t get to school as early as I had hoped, but I had more prep time. The students and I had a good time– possiblely because we did art and not much strenuous academics ;). But it was a good way for me to get a feel of what this group of 4th graders is like. I like them so far. Very sweet.
Well, this has taken me all day– on and off, when Charlie is sleeping and such– to write. I will write about the being a breast pumping mom part and more about the school experience in the next post. I am tired, and now it’s past time to go to bed. I had a nice relaxing bath, and Charles has been asleep for an hour, so good night for now.
D
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