Sleep seems to be one of those things that I am always lacking in. I mean at this point (2 plus years and 2 babies into parent/ motherhood) it has gotten so I just don't even know what it's like to get 8 whole hours of uninterupted sleep.
What is that?? I look a decade older than I did two years ago, and I feel fuzzy. My brain and my whole being just feel a bit blurry around the edges– like one of those cartoon characters that is partially erased. (Funny though, I haven't gotten sick, and I haven't had a major accident– better eat some vitamin C, and knock on some wood). I am ALWAYS tired. Anyone asks how I am, and I am 100 percent guranteed to say, "I'm tired." Such a cop out– but easy and truthful.
It's my fault.
Getting two kids– wait I mean babies– to bed has become a serious challenge. I tend to take both to Charles' room and then read with him while Ben plays with toys. That works until Ben starts to make lots of noise by banging blocks on the wood floor. Or unintentionally distracts Charles by playing with Charles toy due jure. So then to phase two. I pull out my "magic" weapon for Ben– The Boob. He nurses, falls asleep while Charles and I read… Then I tuck Ben in and go back to Charles room and tuck him in– which includes singing and lots of hugs and kisses. Usually the boob works, but not tonight. Not at all. Sigh the baby boy child, Ben, wrythed, kick, adjusted positions about 10,000 times. I felt like I was in the WWF championships. He cried, he nursed, he cried some more. Just as soon as I thought he was asleep and I could lay him down in his bed, he would wake up grab my arms and cry– no scream dejectedly like I was abandoning him.
Luckily Jason, the multidemensional dynamic husband, put his work on pause and rescued me this evening. "Trade you," he says, as he was already helping get Charles to bed.
Thus, after first taking a bath with both the kids, does my dear husband take our youngest for a night stroll. Jas, still in his robe from the bath with kids, walked up and down our street until finally Ben let go and went to sleep.
I, meanwhile, had been rehashing the day in toddler talk (talk about the day? he asks) and snuggling with Charlie. After two rounds of "hush little baby,' with improvisation, my own song, " a kiss, a kiss" twice, more hugs and kisses, he was ready for sleep…
Of course now it is 10:00 pm….. Woot.
I thank Jason profusely as he thanks me. He goes back to the 200 hours of his work backlog, and I go catch up with my board… of course I am too tired to finish posting– so I save it…
And that brings us to 12:30 am
So see, I am on a wheel of dismantlement.. I will never get enough sleep because I want to do stuff when the kids finally go down. Children–uhmm small whiney temper tantrum toddler and fussy teething won't sleep baby–sleeping is bliss, pure bliss for a parent.
And one would think that since they are sleep I should sleep too..
But no, I am reveling in the quiet and the hours being child free.. Sleep is just squandring it.
Off to bed now.
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