Pixelden

Bedtime in two parts.

Diedra — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 05:44:53 +0000

So another long ass bed time– we are talking upward of two hours. It was an hour, but after another half hour of hearing his bedroom door creak open and then shut again and "Mama, mama, mama. Maaaaaaaama!" I went back up to Charlie's room and checked in on him. He's sitting there in his bed, "Want milk."

Good grief. So now, after another set of snuggles and kisses, tucking and retucking of his two blankets, "storing" his flashlights (yes that's right, flashlights–two tiny flashlights and this glow-light he got from Sonic today) and his cell phone under his pillow, the addition of several more significant stuffed animal friends to his bed, and lots of talking, talking talking…. I think he is finally on his way to sleep. The time: 10:30pm pdt.

This has got to end. Funny, while he's working on getting situated he says, " got some energy, got some energy. Ya croosin for a broosin" Of course, I said that to him a couple of days ago… I told him he was just extra tired, and that now he really needed to rest.. I am going to go think about a plan. Of course tonight I am by myself with beditime. Jas is out of town at a concert, and I was dreading the whole putting two to bed, but Ben went down so easy. Tonight, I guess it was Charlie's turn to be difficult…

Sigh… gotta get a plan.

Sleep: It’s my fault I am tired

Diedra — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 07:37:02 +0000

Sleep seems to be one of those things that I am always lacking in. I mean at this point (2 plus years and 2 babies into parent/ motherhood) it has gotten so I just don't even know what it's like to get 8 whole hours of uninterupted sleep.

What is that?? I look a decade older than I did two years ago, and I feel fuzzy. My brain and my whole being just feel a bit blurry around the edges– like one of those cartoon characters that is partially erased. (Funny though, I haven't gotten sick, and I haven't had a major accident– better eat some vitamin C, and knock on some wood). I am ALWAYS tired. Anyone asks how I am, and I am 100 percent guranteed to say, "I'm tired." Such a cop out– but easy and truthful.

It's my fault.

Getting two kids– wait I mean babies– to bed has become a serious challenge. I tend to take both to Charles' room and then read with him while Ben plays with toys. That works until Ben starts to make lots of noise by banging blocks on the wood floor. Or unintentionally distracts Charles by playing with Charles toy due jure. So then to phase two. I pull out my "magic" weapon for Ben– The Boob. He nurses, falls asleep while Charles and I read… Then I tuck Ben in and go back to Charles room and tuck him in– which includes singing and lots of hugs and kisses. Usually the boob works, but not tonight. Not at all. Sigh the baby boy child, Ben, wrythed, kick, adjusted positions about 10,000 times. I felt like I was in the WWF championships. He cried, he nursed, he cried some more. Just as soon as I thought he was asleep and I could lay him down in his bed, he would wake up grab my arms and cry– no scream dejectedly like I was abandoning him.

Luckily Jason, the multidemensional dynamic husband, put his work on pause and rescued me this evening. "Trade you," he says, as he was already helping get Charles to bed.

Thus, after first taking a bath with both the kids, does my dear husband take our youngest for a night stroll. Jas, still in his robe from the bath with kids, walked up and down our street until finally Ben let go and went to sleep.

I, meanwhile, had been rehashing the day in toddler talk (talk about the day? he asks) and snuggling with Charlie. After two rounds of "hush little baby,' with improvisation, my own song, " a kiss, a kiss" twice, more hugs and kisses, he was ready for sleep…

Of course now it is 10:00 pm….. Woot.

I thank Jason profusely as he thanks me. He goes back to the 200 hours of his work backlog, and I go catch up with my board… of course I am too tired to finish posting– so I save it…

And that brings us to 12:30 am

So see, I am on a wheel of dismantlement.. I will never get enough sleep because I want to do stuff when the kids finally go down. Children–uhmm small whiney temper tantrum toddler and fussy teething won't sleep baby–sleeping is bliss, pure bliss for a parent.

And one would think that since they are sleep I should sleep too..

But no, I am reveling in the quiet and the hours being child free.. Sleep is just squandring it.

Off to bed now.

The Roll Over

Diedra — Tue, 03 Jan 2006 06:05:21 +0000

Finally! Charles started rolling over consistantly this weekend. So cool. I know, I know, it was going to happen sometime. But I had begun to wonder, questions seeping into my thinking:”Is he ok, are his hips ok? Have I done something wrong?” “Not enough tummy time?”
I really wasn’t worried until when we went to his 4 month check-up.
“Is he rolling over?” the doctor ask.
“Ummmm, no not really,” I said sheepishly. “He doesn’t really like tummy time. But he can pull himself to standing with help,” thinking that he’s doing something.
“Oh, don’t do that with him until he is sitting by himself; it develops the leg muscles before the torso. He will need the strength in his torso first.” Oops, messing him up already. Now I feel doubly stupid.
That was over a month ago. I began to worry a bit after Charles hit 5 months and still wasn’t rolling over.
I stopped the standing thing for a bit, even though Charles loved it. I soon realized that Charles though, is very strong in the torso, and he really likes to stand. It was part of our flying baby game. I compromised with myself: I would help him stand only after I practice sitting with him. So I kept helping him to sit by himself. I’d sit him on his blanket and lay soft toys close by. He would wobble, rock back and forth and tumble over, ending up on his belly, and then instantly burst into tears. But I’d sit him back up and spread hs legs apart like a tripod, encourage and love him up… and he sit a little longer each time.
By the end of this last week he sits as long as he wants, or until he wants something out of his reach. Then he reaches for it, wobbles and tumbles forward and lands on his bellly. Not so much crying from him anymore, just lots of grunting and a few cries of frustration. I tell him he’s doing a good job and then help him up before he explodes into the frustration cry. A few days ago he rolled from tummy to back at a friends house, kinda accidently. He was sitting, tumbled over and landed on his belly. So then rolled himself over onto his back so he could see everyone. I am happy and surprised, but he doesn’t do it again. That was Friday. Today he was playing on the floor sitting up with his cloth bowling pins–very cute. I set them up around him and he’d reach for one and knock down others. Of course some were out of his reach. He’d reach for these, tumble forward and roll on to his belly, a grunt and then voila his arm was streached out and he rolled over to his back, toy in hand. HA!
I had to see if he’d do it again. I set him up, next his bowling pins– he was the human bowling ball in my opinion. He did it again. This time he had the duck pin. One more time, and then I called Jas to come see. This time, though he falls backward so no need to roll over. Jas looks down at him and asks, “Are you rolling over for mom?” Charles smiles goofily at daddy and then shows him his duck bowling pin. That’s our boy. Go Charlie B!

Back to School (a.k.a. work)

Diedra — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 05:10:59 +0000

As of yesterday, (10/17/05), I am back teaching 4th graders. It does feel a little strange, but not for the reasons most people think.
“I miss my baby,” “I’m going to miss one of his firsts”–Nope those aren’t me.
I do miss the little bean, but when I am at school, I am a teacher, and I am sooo busy, I don’t even seem to have a moment to think, and this week is especially like that because I have yard duty durring recess–basically no stopping once I get to school, so no free moments to think too much about Charles. Besides, I am working for only half the day, so by the time I really miss him, it’s time to go home. Nice!

Finally, today, on Tuesday, I have a bit of a break. Charlie is asleep (lightly–he wakes up and looks around and then oozes back into sleep). I’ve eaten lunch, and I have a moment to recount my horrible first day, and now today, the better Tuesday.

Yesterday sucked big apples. It was a horrible first day. I didn’t know what I was getting into or what I was doing, it was all a little on the crazy side. I was cranky–from getting up so early, and then being almost late because I had to feed Charles right before I left (the second feed), and having no prep time. Then to top things off,(stupid me for trying to get something done other than planning and prep for school) I called personnel to explani a problem with my pay check and probably ticked the gal off. I was a little more than irritated to start the day.

Sidenote– Charlie is now awake, feed and changed; this update of course is taking me much longer than anticipated because of the usual interuptions (Charlie!).

Back at yesterday. It was a bomb. The lessons dragged. The day rolled by in a jumbled fog.
The students sat glaze- eyed at their desks contimplating when the afternoon teacher would arrive– I kept wondering when the afternoon teacher would arrive. We all were in a Monday Malaise– like all my big words? But seriously, leaving the classroom Monday, I was so discouraged. I didn’t feel organized-both mentally and in preparations, and I was ready to just quit. But then there was today.

After talking to my mom on the phone last night, I was able to verbalize my frustrations and set a path. And today was much better. I got up earlier, and Charlie ate twice, but earlier this time. I didn’t get to school as early as I had hoped, but I had more prep time. The students and I had a good time– possiblely because we did art and not much strenuous academics ;). But it was a good way for me to get a feel of what this group of 4th graders is like. I like them so far. Very sweet.

Well, this has taken me all day– on and off, when Charlie is sleeping and such– to write. I will write about the being a breast pumping mom part and more about the school experience in the next post. I am tired, and now it’s past time to go to bed. I had a nice relaxing bath, and Charles has been asleep for an hour, so good night for now.

A starting point

Diedra — Sun, 16 Oct 2005 20:26:03 +0000

I seem to be starting every post with the word “So.” This is a test of a desktop assistant for publishing posts, called ecto… interesting.
More later.
D

Sunday

Diedra — Sun, 16 Oct 2005 16:26:55 +0000

So it’s Sunday and almost nine in the morning and I am so not awake. This is a worry. Tomorrow I go back to work and have to get up at 5 am. I haven’t done that at all–well maybe once–during my eight weeks on maternity leave. Of course I AM up at 4am feeding the kid, but to get up for real and take a shower and such..Yikes!
I guess we’ll see how it goes.
Be back later with more thoughts…
D

A poem too serious for it’s own dots

Diedra — Sun, 16 Oct 2005 07:08:30 +0000

Pixelden?

a musing home
colored dots condo
an idea harbor
brain junk
time defuser

ephemeral experiment

Hello.